


the sunlight give him memories

by angelical



Category: Marvel
Genre: M/M, major angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-15
Updated: 2019-07-15
Packaged: 2020-06-28 18:21:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 971
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19817917
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angelical/pseuds/angelical
Summary: y’all this is basically angst on a stick. so good luck :) I sobbed while writing this but :/





	the sunlight give him memories

**Author's Note:**

> y’all this is basically angst on a stick. so good luck :) I sobbed while writing this but :/

__The little streams of sunlight caught Bucky’s eye. Intruding from behind the ajar curtain hanging over the window near the bed.

He feels like he has lost his mind. And in reality, he had. It had been pulled out and thrown around then put back in place again.

The vast yellows in the sunlight had changed into light oranges and pinks, bringing the day to an end. Another day. Spent alone. In his hut. In the remains of Wakanda.

Every so often Shuri visited, that was nice. He liked it when Shuri visited, everyone needed some company every once in a while.

Sam also sometimes called, but that was about once a month, with all this new Captain America business, Bucky didn’t want to feel like a nuisance. So Shuri was kind’ve of the extent of human interaction he had.

But his goats were nice, he had Natasha and Deborah and Delilah and Charlie, and the little runt of the litter, he hadn’t decided what to name it yet. It had blue eyes and small blonde tuffs on the up side of its white body.

Maybe he should name it Steve. No, no, that’s not right. Naming a goat, after his best friend? A goat for gods sakes.

But, maybe Steve would like it? Because it was Bucky’s goat. It was his friends goat. He doesn’t really know anymore, what Steve would like. Maybe he didn’t like Bucky’s goats anymore. Maybe he didn’t want to see his goats? He didn’t know. And he doesn’t think he wants to.

Bucky lay back on the bed once again, and slowly closed his eyes, enveloping his mind in darkness. A sigh of sadness passing his lips. The sunlight which scattered the floor becoming invisible to his eyes.

—

‘C’mon Stevie! It’s just one ride!” he laughed, throwing one arm across the blondes shoulders.

“The last time I said yes to ‘one ride’ we were at Coney Island and I threw up afterwards!” Steve whined, dragging his feet across the concrete.

“Hey! Your mother paid a lot for those shoes, quit draggin’ them across the ground, you’ll scratch them,”

“Yes, mom!” The blonde muttered, earning a chuckle from Bucky.

“Now, are we going on the Midnight Whirl or the Ferris Wheel? If I put last weeks pay from the docks and this weeks from the diner, we can maybe do both?” Bucky’s voice was soft with anticipation, only receiving a smile from Steve.

“You always pay, Buck. It’s not fair, you’re always look in’ after me and payin’ for me as well, let me pay for once,”

“With what money?” Steve froze for a second, making Bucky’s arm almost strangle him in the process, before rolling his eyes and continuing walking towards the fair.

“I could put something together, if we just go back to the apartment, I can-“

“Nuh-uh, I ain’t fallin’ for that again, Rogers, I’m not being roped into stayin’ in again tonight like the other week. Please Stevie?”

He stopped with Steve, pulling him in front of him, before turning his eyes soft and innocent. Steve grunted before finally saying “Fine! But we are goin’ on the Ferris Wheel, last time I went on the Midnight Whirl, I didn’t walk properly for a week, pal.”

“Yes!” Bucky exclaimed, lifting up Steves suspenders before letting them snap back onto his shoulders. “Christ, Buck! You needa stop doin’ that.”

-//-

Steve and Bucky now sat at the top of the Ferris wheel, the whole world at their feet. Steve was looking out into the dark night, exclaiming how beautiful the sky was, but the only thing beautiful thing Bucky could see was him.

“You ever think about the future, Buck?” Steve turned to Bucky.

“Sometimes, I sometimes think about that car Howard Stark showed us at the science convention, remember that? It was all floatin’ and all? It would be pretty darn cool if we had those in the streets.” He chuckled.

“Yeah, but what about us? Do you think we are always gon’ be best friends?”

“The end of the line ain’t in this life pal, I’m afraid you’re stuck with me.”

“That’s good, Buck. I wouldn’t want anythin’ else.”

-

Bucky woke up hastily, a large smile plastered on his face. He had remembered something. Every so often this would happen, and the reaction of the person he loved most would always be priceless.

He quickly stood up from the bed and rushed into the living area, where the sunlight had now turned into a deep red and purple.

“Hey, Steve! I remembered something!” But nothing. No smile, no exclamation of happiness. Nothing. Just cold rooms and and emptiness hanging in the air.

“Oh-“ his smile faded, the excitement that had once choked him, melted away, coating his heart in disappointment.

He turned to face towards the sun, ignoring the small tears which were gathering in his eyes.

It was time to feed the goats, he picked up the bucket next to the door and walked outside.

The tears burning in his eyes against the sun set. He filled the bucket up with food and walked over to the pen, where the goats were playing happily with their shadows far behind them. Except for the little one who sat tiredly in the corner, gazing over the horizon. He opened the gate and all but one goat started running towards him. Consistently yelping for food.

He lowered some of it into the bowls over at the far side of the pen, before walking over to the small goat sitting in the corner. He dropped to his knees slowly, bucket still in hand. And poured some food out onto the grass just below it’s mouth. He threw the bucket aside and carefully caressed the small goat.

“Hey, Steve,” he whimpered,

And that’s where the tears began.


End file.
